all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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