I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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