I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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