i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
My life is pants optional.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
