You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
