remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
