I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
