For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
