Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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