she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
