the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
