His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
