She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
