I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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