how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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