I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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