Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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