it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I think your dad took our porno
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
