I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
