You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You pole danced in your parka.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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