I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize
