What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
