You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
