Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
