I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
