im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
