So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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