Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
