so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
