y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
