Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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