it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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