Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
