marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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