Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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