you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
