Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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