I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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