Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
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