i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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