I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Randomize
