there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
