New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
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