people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
