his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Randomize
