remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
