So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
