I think im going to throw up on grandma
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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