'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
