My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
